her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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