I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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