I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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