So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize