Life is so much better after having sex.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
