I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
