i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize