Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
