i don't like sucking hair
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
