Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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