she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
