And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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