i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
