Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
