he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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