I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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