guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
