Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize