I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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