wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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