pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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