I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
