Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
