Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
