guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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