It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
