You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize