The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
