I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
