So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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