...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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