ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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