I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
