I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
