I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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