Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
