so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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