You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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