i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
