bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
