I puked a lego.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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