youre lurking in front of me
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
