I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
