Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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