quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
