I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
