We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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