let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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