since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
