Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
