Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
