So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
