Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
