i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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