its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
