The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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