Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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