I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize