Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
