thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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