I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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