she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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