remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
