Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He kissed a someone with a penis
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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