I will die if light touches me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
