Non-Jews are for practice
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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