i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
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I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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