every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize