this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
BRING THE BAGELS
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
