Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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