Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
