you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
